trying on dresses

i feel disgusted.

by this ugly thing in the mirror.

these naked anthills

bursting out of my chest

and these curves

that roll like waves

that don’t fit into my jeans anymore.

i want to step out of my body

leave it behind

and let it fall behind me

like an old cocoon.

i want to rip all these dresses

all these beautiful dresses

because i know my ribs will protrude through the silk.

i want to throw the lace and tuft

like confetti

into a fire, and watch it burn to black.

i want to beat the girl in front of me

watch my fist break her teeth

watch her nose burst blood like a volcano

watch bruises bloom across her like violets.

then smash the mirror

and leave her broken and to herself.

i don’t think i’m going to homecoming this year.